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Cooperating with a spouse during a divorce dispute may at first seem impossible. Nevertheless, committing to behaving cooperatively during this difficult process can, with an attorney’s support and assistance, be the most important means of achieving a fair outcome with less expense. Most divorcing parties, particularly those with children, desire to resolve their issues amicably and avoid inflicting further pain on family members. However, it is understandably difficult for divorcing couples to interact cordially to resolve the same issues that likely caused the divorce in the first place. Support, property, and child custody issues are all viewed through the prism of emotions, resentments, and sadness that built up during the relationship, making it extremely difficult to consider these issues dispassionately. In these situations, the cooperative lawyer works with the divorce client to achieve his/her goals in a respectful manner and avoid inflaming the parties’ already strained and distrustful relationship.
Cooperative divorce is just as it sounds: an approach to resolving a divorce case through free exchange of relevant information, a commitment to civility by both attorneys and parties, and a focus on achieving a fair settlement, with litigation only as a last resort. There are numerous benefits to this approach. Since it is undisputed that less parental conflict results in better parent-child relationships and fewer adjustment problems, an approach that encourages parental cooperation is almost always best from a child’s viewpoint. This approach is beneficial to the adults as well, since it tones down the animosity and provides opportunities to rebuild cooperation and trust. Prompt and open responses to information requests, clear disclosure of all assets, and timely and cordial child placement transitions all build a base of trust necessary to resolve the divorce short of trial, and to effectively co-parent children. By focusing on settlement, cooperative divorce principles permit the parties to choose an arrangement that works best for them, and over which they have ownership and influence, rather than having an (often ill-fitting) order imposed by the court. Finally, this approach is always less expensive than adversary litigation. It is far better to direct limited funds toward children’s needs, savings, debt repayment, college assistance, etc., rather than engage in protracted litigation over issues that usually can be solved without court involvement.
Cooperative divorce does not, however, preclude vigorous advocacy. Cooperative attorneys still represent their clients in an assertive and ethically responsible manner. Instead, the cooperative process is better understood as a philosophy focused on the most cost-effective and least damaging means of achieving a desired outcome. Cooperative practice does not rule out litigation, or pressure parties into settlement in order to “get it over with.” Since it does not require attorneys to withdraw if the parties are unable to agree, it encourages continuity of representation, eliminating the need to pay a new attorney to become familiar with the case if the first attorney withdraws. Rather, this approach recognizes that, for various reasons, litigation may be necessary to achieve an important and fair result. There may be some instances, such as domestic or child abuse, in which optimal cooperation may not be possible. However, even in these instances, committing to a respectful and straightforward approach will ensure that limited resources are used effectively.
In most cases, it is possible to protect yourself financially and emotionally, and achieve a workable, child-centered outcome, without engaging in “scorched earth” tactics. Divorce is not a criminal trial, where the outcome is basically limited to guilt or innocence. Nor does it resemble a personal injury suit, in which a plaintiff seeks retribution for damage done to him/her. The reality is that there is no outright “winner” in a divorce action; it is a painful, unpleasant process for all involved. An effective approach focuses on the future rather than the past, permitting parties and their children to move forward and begin the healing process, rather than replaying marital wounds through litigation. Attorneys practicing cooperative divorce principles are skilled in achieving a client’s goals in the most effective, and least combative, way possible. The result is often a less stressful and more satisfying result for the client that is also less likely to lead to expensive and painful relitigation in the future.
More information about cooperative divorce is available at the Divorce Cooperation Institute website, www.cooperativedivorce.org
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